Unfortunately, I received a Red Cross message this morning notifying me that my father’s mother has passed away. My family had already sent me e-mails about her passing away, but Red Cross is delivered through a Soldier’s chain of command and takes a couple extra hours, but will reach the Soldier. It’s good since I didn’t have access to internet that day and I know I can count on the Red Cross to notify my family if anything happens to me.
In memory to my grandmother, I’ve decided to collect some thoughts about her. This allows me to express myself and proves cathartic.
Virginia Ochylski passed away Tuesday, February 5, 2008. She is survived by her son, two daughters, and seven grandchildren. She married Henry Ochylski, who served stateside in the Army during WWII.
As a grandmother, I’ll always remember her trying to get me to eat more food. “You need some meat on those bones!” A good Polish cook, she always had soup to cook and kielbasa to fill us up. I remember visiting her house as a child and the basement I’d always play in. Some of the tiles would be missing, but she’d have toys down there and it was cool. The kitchen was small, but she would be doing some cooking for us. She had a small backyard, but large enough for a little tyke to play in. She even had a clothesline there to play with. In the garage was a pull-up bar. My father used that growing up.
As her grandchildren grew up, I could always see how proud she was of us. She would always demand a hug and kiss on your cheeks. She was a short woman, but very forceful. The most remarkable thing she always did was a never-fail birthday card. In college and even when I was in Basic Training, she remembered me and sent a card. Later, when she took ill and was in the hospital, she still found the time to send a card. I wish I could be as diligent and attentive as she was.
Something I profoundly regret is that I bought her a birthday card, with the best of intentions to mail it off, yet never did. It was the first I would have sent to her, with a summary of how I’ve been doing and where I’ll be going. I thought I’d make it up next year. Well, now I do have something to do in her memory.
Fortunately, before I left for Iraq I took the chance to visit my family in Michigan and saw her at Thanksgiving. I wish I could have spent more time with her. I do know she was proud of me though. During our visit, she kept asking me what I was doing and where I was headed. I only wish I could be at her service.
It is a sad time whenever this happens to someone. However, we have work to do over here and other people depend on you in this job. Other Soldiers have also received notices like this and much as we may want to, we cannot make the services for our loved ones. We need to perform our duties so that we continue to keep each other safe. Losing one link in the chain can break us apart. In the meantime, we each find our own way to grieve. Just as this has helped me.
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